i am what i am!!

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

am i being selfish??

everything happening around me has really got me CONFUSED!

i feel like a big ball of emotions......happiness, sad, confused, rage, guilty, disappointment, euphoric, and LOST!

most of all LOST! things happening in my personal life over the course of last year......it feels are taking its toll on me finally! i dun remember when last being alone with my thoughts was so scary for me.......

things everyone expects from me......i ve no problem with expectation.....i believe they care that why they expect but i wish once just once people around me wud understand dat i am a real person wid real needs......i also dream and work hard to realise them! i try my best to fit everyone in the equation but its not possible always to do that! smtimes i do wish to live just for myself! n i wish everyone wud understand me........

i m told no reason, not given a chance to give my side of story........just a verdict!
and dat too in a sense which i feel makes it a mere formality ......mayb so as not to lead me........

i wish one day i cud do the same.......say wat i wanted to say and then walk away........


am i being selfish to wish it??

11 Comments:

  • Would be greatful if you could tell me where is central and south Delhi. I have been only to Dwaraka and Vikaspuri and janakpuri.....

    By Blogger Soul, At 2:04 AM, June 08, 2008  

  • Hard to tell because you're speaking in general terms. Of course, that's probably because you don't want to post all the details of your life!

    So to respond in general terms, it seems to me that people have to do a certain amount of "selfish" activity to maximize their usefulness to others as well as to be fulfilled personally - especially when you're young. Things that help to strengthen you, educate you, understand yourself better, become more autonomous etc. - I don't really think of such things as selfish at all.

    By Anonymous paul maurice martin, At 11:26 PM, June 08, 2008  

  • @soul

    central wud be CP n south wud be GK n south ex!

    @ paul

    yeah u r write i cud not go into details:) not just bcoz it abt my personal life but more of bcoz i m sharin it wid other ppl n i dun want to breach their privacy!:)

    n thank you! u said wat i wanted to hear.......

    still wish that those arnd me wud undrstand tht wid their expectation i have some of mine to fulfill as well! i understand tht life's decision will always have more thn one dimension but it becomes difficult to accomodate everything!!

    thank you once agn!

    By Blogger MY THOUGHTS!!, At 10:56 AM, June 09, 2008  

  • chal tu milegi kya.....
    tho mere id pe mail kar

    thesoulishere@gmail.com

    By Blogger Soul, At 10:45 PM, June 09, 2008  

  • Expectations.i will take that part.Never live for others.What we expect from ourselves is important.Nothing else matters...
    Every day life is the path..
    your writing is sincere..
    Me too blog
    Do visit MAN IN PAINTING.

    By Blogger MAN IN PAINTING, At 12:15 PM, June 10, 2008  

  • yes. someties u just feel like walkin away.
    i ve never used it myself. bt just had this strange thought, yesterday!

    whn life itself is considered as a story- where u play the lead, life gets much simpler! tht is, be it anything- u r confused, or u need to solve a problem of u'rs, think for a few minutes tht u r nt u'r self bt sme 1 else who is readin u r story.. n think of a soln. i think one might able to think better then!
    tht was jst a thought!

    By Blogger Matangi Mawley, At 10:39 PM, June 10, 2008  

  • Soory for not keeping in touch...have been on a vacation!

    I think it's better if you just have a smile on ur face and walk through bravely....but as Paul says- it's hard to tell :P

    Do keep visiting :D

    By Blogger Meghna, At 12:28 PM, June 19, 2008  

  • @ soul

    sure just gimme sm time! sort of busy wid things ryt now!

    @ man

    i agree wid you! but i guess it becomes difficult coz u love these ppl wid ur heart and soul! u want to see thm happy.......:)

    thank you for ur words:)

    @matangi

    thanks for gr8 advice! i tried n it works! i m much more calm now n i can understand wat everyone arnd me wants and wat I want! now i can differentiate much better.

    @meghna
    yeah its hard......but i m doin better!

    how was ur vacation??had fun??gud to see agn :)

    By Blogger MY THOUGHTS!!, At 12:00 AM, June 20, 2008  

  • no....u r not being selfish in wishing for it.....
    it is ur right and u should dutifully have it....the right to be understood the same way u understand others.....
    i was like you, years ago. even now, i am kinda like the same. but what u do is, these days, i just tell people, that nobody spendin time with me, or nobody understands me. everbody is good. so they just kinda let go, and spend time with me.
    i dont have to tell u anything...nor anybody has to. because wht works for me may not work for u.....
    but remember this is ur life. u have one great life ahead of u. and u need to decide, who is going to be in ur life, and how is everybody going to treat u......i may be off the mark from what u ur post conveyed...but just said straight from the heart
    best of luck

    By Blogger a new philosopher is born, At 12:57 PM, June 22, 2008  

  • @philosopher

    :D i somewhat agree.........but i m not really seekin attention i dun want people to spend time wid me coz i like it that way......i wud want them to care because they care(does that even make sense??)

    and dont worry about being off the mark sincere rambling of heart is anyday better than cleverly crafted answers!:)

    By Blogger MY THOUGHTS!!, At 11:16 PM, June 30, 2008  

  • Hi ,

    I was reading ur blog posts and found some of them to be wow.. u write well.. Why don't you popularize it more.. ur posts on ur blog ‘i am what i am!!’ took my particular attention as some of them are interesting topics of mine too;

    BTW I help out some ex-IIMA guys who with another batch mate run www.rambhai.com where you can post links to your most loved blog-posts. Rambhai was the chaiwala at IIMA and it is a site where users can themselves share links to blog posts etc and other can find and vote on them. The best make it to the homepage!

    This way you can reach out to rambhai readers some of whom could become your ardent fans.. who knows.. :)

    Cheers,

    By Blogger ray, At 4:49 PM, August 07, 2008  

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